Nature

Honestly I think that when nature took something away from my brain, that which would have made me learn all this stuff 20 years ago, it created an ironic situation where I become hyper aware - and analyze the stuff at a level that most people never would. I understand people in terms of evolutionary theory, that's what makes sense, the typical technique of just naturally feeling how everybody else feels barely applies to me. I'm not Autistic, but I'm like half-way there. It may actually be easier to just be straight up Autistic and not care at all what society is up to - maybe - though being straight up Autistic is extremely challenging in other ways from what I've heard.

Here's an analogy: I guy lost the nerves that tell his body how it's positioned. (The American Life or maybe Radio Lab episode.) He had to literally learn how to stand up, walk, etc. He had to use his eyes (rather than Proprioception) to tell where his legs were. That's me. There's something that isn't there, so I'm using the logical side of my mind to do it instead.