When young woman are dating, they want to maintain the story that they are not going directly after sex. The story they want to maintain is that they are just in situations, one thing leads to another, and sex ends up happening. A plan to have sex is not romantic and less desirable. The want to consider it a temporary lapse in judgement or an irresistible situation, not a choice or a plan. They will put themselves in situations where sex or meeting people for sex is most likely to happen (parties), but they will not respond well to direct invitations to sex or even accept that they are going after sex. It's a pretty thin illusion and they may carry items to make sex safer or whatever with them, knowing somewhere in the back of their mind what can happen.
This thing illusion is why plausible deniability is important when setting up a date with a woman, especially while dating. There should always be a reason for meeting that is plausible other than sex. It should be something that's pretty interesting, engaging, and makes sense. If it's making dinner, then making dinner should be pretty involved and interesting (not just a simple meal like a guy would normally make for himself). If it's watching a movie, the movie watching experience should be involved. The movie should be good. And some communication should happen during the movie. The non-sex event can then transition into sex.
Even after sex has occurred in the relationship, it helps to keep creating plausibly deniable situations for meeting and then transitioning into sex. Just meeting for sex and leaving isn't ideal for a young woman. They do love sex, but they like it much more when it's romantic. Guy's don't really care if it's romantic or not, so they need to consciously consider this.
This is a direct quote from a woman in her early twenties "that's my problem, I spend time alone with guys and then I do bad things." ("Bad" simply meaning sexual in this context.) Note that the quote was all said with a hint of self-criticism but a smile at the same time. She wants to believe that she plans to just hang out and these things just happen. Of course the guys who have sex with her are likely moving rationally (consciously or unconsciously) to the desired point from the
moment they first begin speaking to her to the final moment of
intercourse. If they operate correctly, the whole experience should feel
natural and accidental.
She also wants to believe that she has a so called "wild side" - a mode where she desires to have sex. It's a temporary "side" because a constant state would imply more of a "slutty" idea which she wants to avoid.
No comments:
Post a Comment