I went on a POF date with a different woman (where nothing happened) a few days after kissing a woman and such. The original woman got really upset. This is an analysis of why.
The thing is, many of the things that women do and consider fun are roughly equivalent to a POF date. (Maybe men too, but I haven't studied men much, so I'm not making a statement about them here.) Women enjoy going out and being around people appropriate to their age. They enjoy being in mixed crowds of friends and new people so they can meet new people while still being the presence of friends - friends who provide a layer of safety, fun, and help in evaluation. Compared to a nigh out, a POF date is actually less, it's just a conversation with one person. With a night out, a girl could have a conversation with 20 people, and possibly date any of them.
So in my mind, a POF date was basically nothing. There's arguably less mate evaluation happening than going out to salsa, which is something she does all the time anyway. This is how I see it, and I think it's valid. But it's not how she saw it. And from now on, I'll know that women respond emotionally to certain things - maybe things with "dating" in the title or whatever, regardless of the actual content.
The fact is women are always doing stuff to meet people that could end up sexual partners. They consider all the stuff just fun - parties, going out, talking to people at coffee shops, etc. etc. And they interpret all of that as just living a normal life - with little conscious awareness that they are programmed to use all those methods to evaluate people and find mates. Typical comment: "I wasn't looking for anybody and I just stumbled upon this guy..." Well OK, but she was probably going out on a regular bases evaluating 10's or 100's of people week by week through interaction and conversation. That's not exactly stumbling.
I suppose the difference with POF is that the intention moves more into the conscious rather than unconscious - it's just too obvious.
No comments:
Post a Comment