Some youtube video talking about how to read a man's body language mentioned that the stuff a guy does do indicate disinterest is the same as what he does if he is just shy in general. If body language is so inaccurate or ambiguous, why use it at all... (yes I am shy in a sense and therefore particularly annoyed by this ambiguity) well I suppose actual language is pretty ambiguous too... the way that most people use it. They often say something polite rather than something accurate.
...body language evolved earlier than spoken language so it makes sense that people would pay attention to it in terms of attraction. In text, one must resort to emoticons - that's what people have said anyway.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Confidence
Women like confidence so much. I tend to distrust confident people - that's the natural tendency anyway. I'm more impressed with people who are correct than people who are confident. But, as usual, I'm willing to make an effort to adjust - learn to convey confidence.
I'm not totally sure why the women like confidence. I'm not immediately thinking of solid biological/evolutionary reason. I guess it's because people are sometimes pretty good at evaluating themselves and confidence (in those people) might be a decent metric.
Although with something like playing music, the emotion of being confident - or not freaked out - does make the music sound "right" - so maybe something like that is going on with speech also.
I'm not totally sure why the women like confidence. I'm not immediately thinking of solid biological/evolutionary reason. I guess it's because people are sometimes pretty good at evaluating themselves and confidence (in those people) might be a decent metric.
Although with something like playing music, the emotion of being confident - or not freaked out - does make the music sound "right" - so maybe something like that is going on with speech also.
Bob:
Well... I think I know what you mean. The solution would be an android man that has what I'll call "pandora.com" personality. It would basically change every few days to something new, but still something that's likely to be interesting.
And, I want the "pandora.com" woman android. I want her to look different every few days also. That would be interesting.
Suzy:
> I mean like qualities you want in someone or the personality
> compatibility. Also, for me. I get bored easily.
>
>
Bob:
> which desires?
>
> are we talking specifically about you getting swept off your feet?
> that particular thing is going to be difficult because you already
> know the game that a guy would theoretically use to sweep you.
>
> if we are talking about guys - different story - considering they
> don't need to get swept off their feet to be fulfilled.
>
Suzy:
>
> even if you could pick up anyone, not anyone with fulfill desires.
>
>
Bob:
>
>
> how do you mean?
>
Suzy:
>
> what about the pickiness factor?
>
>
Bob:
>
>
> remember when i said girls are distracting to the
> point of
> messing
> up other stuff and you sort of disagreed... or at
> least started
> giving some kind of counter-examples.
>
> this is the thing. i think i have perspective now.
> if you have
> options, the one girl is not that distracting. she
> is never an
> emergency. she can always be replaced*. in fact, she
> knows
> this, and
> will not mess with you as much. but if you don't have
> options, the
> thought of her can really be destructive - maybe
> upsetting
> from fear
> of loss - maybe upsetting because she's not even right -
> she's just
> there.
>
> the game is not to get a girl. it's to alter the
> probability of
> getting all girls. specifically, alter your neural
> network
> in such a
> way that many girls are ok with you. this is what people
> call pick
> up or whatever - learning the game. it's really just
> being
> social.
> you already are a pickup artist (right down to the
> details, like
> talking to the guy who runs the snack stand), i find it
> interesting.
> if you were a man, you'd be set.
>
>
>
> *sort of - you know as well as i limits on what
> can/cannot be
> replaced so i won't think about that carefully here
>
>
>
>
>
>
Well... I think I know what you mean. The solution would be an android man that has what I'll call "pandora.com" personality. It would basically change every few days to something new, but still something that's likely to be interesting.
And, I want the "pandora.com" woman android. I want her to look different every few days also. That would be interesting.
Suzy:
> I mean like qualities you want in someone or the personality
> compatibility. Also, for me. I get bored easily.
>
>
Bob:
> which desires?
>
> are we talking specifically about you getting swept off your feet?
> that particular thing is going to be difficult because you already
> know the game that a guy would theoretically use to sweep you.
>
> if we are talking about guys - different story - considering they
> don't need to get swept off their feet to be fulfilled.
>
Suzy:
>
> even if you could pick up anyone, not anyone with fulfill desires.
>
>
Bob:
>
>
> how do you mean?
>
Suzy:
>
> what about the pickiness factor?
>
>
Bob:
>
>
> remember when i said girls are distracting to the
> point of
> messing
> up other stuff and you sort of disagreed... or at
> least started
> giving some kind of counter-examples.
>
> this is the thing. i think i have perspective now.
> if you have
> options, the one girl is not that distracting. she
> is never an
> emergency. she can always be replaced*. in fact, she
> knows
> this, and
> will not mess with you as much. but if you don't have
> options, the
> thought of her can really be destructive - maybe
> upsetting
> from fear
> of loss - maybe upsetting because she's not even right -
> she's just
> there.
>
> the game is not to get a girl. it's to alter the
> probability of
> getting all girls. specifically, alter your neural
> network
> in such a
> way that many girls are ok with you. this is what people
> call pick
> up or whatever - learning the game. it's really just
> being
> social.
> you already are a pickup artist (right down to the
> details, like
> talking to the guy who runs the snack stand), i find it
> interesting.
> if you were a man, you'd be set.
>
>
>
> *sort of - you know as well as i limits on what
> can/cannot be
> replaced so i won't think about that carefully here
>
>
>
>
>
>
Dating
Theoretically, I think I'm forming a clearer idea of what dating is. It is a meeting (that much is obvious). Different than a friendly meeting in the sense that there's an expected push and pull... and expectation for both to be challenged and checked. It's sparring. But it's not physical sparring and it's not intellectual sparring. There can be some banter, if it's acceptable form - probably some story mimicking reality - probably with sexual innuendo. But of course, innuendo at most, rather than literal speak of sex - as that is not sexy - ironically enough. And, maybe some building of rapport - more of a serious part of the conversation. Additionally, the man will be required to show confidence, some level of social assertiveness, financial stability (even if not rich), and an interest in taking care of the girl - pull her chair out for her or whatever. And then the girl will evaluate with something like "I had a good time" or some cryptic body language than indicates interest or disinterest. The guy will figure out if he's attracted to her - but lets get real - he already was before the date (unless it was the blind variety). Ultimately she will use this "date" to determine if he's fit, in the Darwinian sense. For a friend, she might just hang out or take care of the guy for whatever reason - with the date, she has to make sure he can take care of her. For a friend, it's good to relax, for the date, a certain amount of tension is inserted (one way or another), probably as a challenge. Once this dating is over, it's over. It's like the spider's dance. They only do it in an evaluation phase. After that the female might just mate (or not), then go ahead and eat him, or maybe let him go. Dating never comes up again.
I thought maybe smart girls wouldn't care much about this stuff as they would see through the game. But, I don't think it matters if the girl is smart or not. It's likely that the majority of girls (of all kinds) will want this game.
I thought maybe smart girls wouldn't care much about this stuff as they would see through the game. But, I don't think it matters if the girl is smart or not. It's likely that the majority of girls (of all kinds) will want this game.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Modern World
i figure that long-lasting meaningful relationships are more difficult to achieve in modern industrial society because: they are not as necessary.
if you live in a tribe, in a jungle, the sequence is basically: fall in love when you are too young to know what you are doing - baby pops out - society "encourages" you to stay together with constructs such as marriage.
hopefully, you fell in love with a cool guy. if you didn't you are your children may actually die. it's extremely helpful if this guy has a social network of friends. when the cold winter comes, maybe something wipes out your food store - if you don't have friends, you are dead.
over the eons, women primates evolved the ability to measure (estimate) the chance that a particular man can do what's needed to keep her and her children alive. this became the very definition of sexual attractiveness. the women in the example most likely fell in love with a pretty capable guy - even if she had no conscious idea of why.
then there's the struggle - to just keep the kid alive. infant morality would be pretty high. the struggles would bond the family. these days, we don't really have the bonds of struggle. life and death. i actually watch life and death struggles on netflix instead - and i feel more intense emotion with those than most real life stuff.
if you live in a tribe, in a jungle, the sequence is basically: fall in love when you are too young to know what you are doing - baby pops out - society "encourages" you to stay together with constructs such as marriage.
hopefully, you fell in love with a cool guy. if you didn't you are your children may actually die. it's extremely helpful if this guy has a social network of friends. when the cold winter comes, maybe something wipes out your food store - if you don't have friends, you are dead.
over the eons, women primates evolved the ability to measure (estimate) the chance that a particular man can do what's needed to keep her and her children alive. this became the very definition of sexual attractiveness. the women in the example most likely fell in love with a pretty capable guy - even if she had no conscious idea of why.
then there's the struggle - to just keep the kid alive. infant morality would be pretty high. the struggles would bond the family. these days, we don't really have the bonds of struggle. life and death. i actually watch life and death struggles on netflix instead - and i feel more intense emotion with those than most real life stuff.
Men Acquiring Women
> For centuries men sought to streamline the pickup and rig it so that
> powerful men were guaranteed a woman.
I was listening to a show about how non-human primates manage tribal relations, and it sounded just like the kings and queens of the middle ages.
> I think the women's rights
> movement has caused as much of a shift in evolution as anything. Giving
> women a choice puts a real kink in the male system. I think even women
> are kinda fucked by this change. Now women have to be active and cold
> and calculating about snagging a well-off man (if they have not chosen
> to go the professional female route). They cannot rely on the fixed
> marriage thing anymore.
I think the sadness that women often feel is because the standard mate selection, reproduction, and child bearing thing is what we evolved for, but not what we do (or need to do) anymore. Basically, what should happen: fairly young women falls in love, a baby pops out, and the deal is sealed. The child then creates the necessary love and connection. In the modern world where people do not reproduce - the relationship itself has to be amazing just to be sustainable.
(It makes sense that the Indian culture with its fixed marriages can produce some good engineers that end up imported to America. Removing the need to seduce a woman leaves much more time to work on other stuff - and engineering is like the opposite skill.)
>
> Maybe this will make it into a bit of dialogue in //.
>
>
>
> but 2? nobody will do that for you (you as in me). it is a skill.
> and it's not like riding a bike - that didn't take long to learn -
> it's more like learning to play jazz. the art of pickup. it's an
> improvisational art, and like any other, it's pretty involved. i
> think i finally respect it. and it's ultimately not just the girl
> thing - it the people thing.
>
> the fact is, this pickup game is what women care about greatly. it's
> really the whole social interaction thing. it's chimpanzee's. you
> can do really cool stuff... and well she might care... like if one
> achieves world fame *maybe*. even in that case, often it's the fame
> that she likes - it's not even the thing. it's the social
> verification. a little bit of social verification goes a long way.
> the actual skills and acomplishments... well many women don't really
> care. specifically i mean classic engineers are notoriously without
> girlfriends until somebody finally pegs them as a meal ticket. not
> so for salesmen, even the mediocre one will have a girl friend.
>
> powerful men were guaranteed a woman.
I was listening to a show about how non-human primates manage tribal relations, and it sounded just like the kings and queens of the middle ages.
> I think the women's rights
> movement has caused as much of a shift in evolution as anything. Giving
> women a choice puts a real kink in the male system. I think even women
> are kinda fucked by this change. Now women have to be active and cold
> and calculating about snagging a well-off man (if they have not chosen
> to go the professional female route). They cannot rely on the fixed
> marriage thing anymore.
I think the sadness that women often feel is because the standard mate selection, reproduction, and child bearing thing is what we evolved for, but not what we do (or need to do) anymore. Basically, what should happen: fairly young women falls in love, a baby pops out, and the deal is sealed. The child then creates the necessary love and connection. In the modern world where people do not reproduce - the relationship itself has to be amazing just to be sustainable.
(It makes sense that the Indian culture with its fixed marriages can produce some good engineers that end up imported to America. Removing the need to seduce a woman leaves much more time to work on other stuff - and engineering is like the opposite skill.)
>
> Maybe this will make it into a bit of dialogue in //.
>
>
>
> but 2? nobody will do that for you (you as in me). it is a skill.
> and it's not like riding a bike - that didn't take long to learn -
> it's more like learning to play jazz. the art of pickup. it's an
> improvisational art, and like any other, it's pretty involved. i
> think i finally respect it. and it's ultimately not just the girl
> thing - it the people thing.
>
> the fact is, this pickup game is what women care about greatly. it's
> really the whole social interaction thing. it's chimpanzee's. you
> can do really cool stuff... and well she might care... like if one
> achieves world fame *maybe*. even in that case, often it's the fame
> that she likes - it's not even the thing. it's the social
> verification. a little bit of social verification goes a long way.
> the actual skills and acomplishments... well many women don't really
> care. specifically i mean classic engineers are notoriously without
> girlfriends until somebody finally pegs them as a meal ticket. not
> so for salesmen, even the mediocre one will have a girl friend.
>
girl thing
this is an exaggeration or a simplification possibly but: yes, the girl thing is the most important.
i figure the priority list is basically 1) stay alive and healthy 2) the girl thing. this is based on emotion - but of course it lines up with evolutionary principles - survive and reproduce - it's what we have in common with bacteria and everything else.
i think that to truly fulfil (1), much higher technology will be needed. to put in bluntly, the human body is intrinsically designed in such a way that it will fall apart - it is likely the whole thing will just be replaced in the future with something more stable. when that is done, (1) will be achieved.
can i contribute to 1, well i can make a little contribution - but i notice that good ideas are nearly always replicated - therefore i don't need to worry about it too much. people are going to do what needs to be done. (often money is the real rate limiting factor.)
in some sense 1 is taken care of. for myself, i just need to make any contribution, and get somebody to pay me (so i can buy food), or extract money in any way from any source (so i can buy food).
but 2? nobody will do that for you (you as in me). it is a skill. and it's not like riding a bike - that didn't take long to learn - it's more like learning to play jazz. the art of pickup. it's an improvisational art, and like any other, it's pretty involved. i think i finally respect it. and it's ultimately not just the girl thing - it the people thing.
the fact is, this pickup game is what women care about greatly. it's really the whole social interaction thing. it's chimpanzee's. you can do really cool stuff... and well she might care... like if one achieves world fame *maybe*. even in that case, often it's the fame that she likes - it's not even the thing. it's the social verification. a little bit of social verification goes a long way. the actual skills and acomplishments... well many women don't really care. specifically i mean classic engineers are notoriously without girlfriends until somebody finally pegs them as a meal ticket. not so for salesmen, even the mediocre one will have a girl friend.
what about rock stars. with all the girls. theoretically, there is something there. it's a good field. one where there's a high probability that a girl may actually appreciate the thing itself. however, even tu-pac said: they were interested in the fame itself, not so much me - he said he'd go to a club and women would not give a shit about him until somebody actually recognized him as a star - then they were into him.
restating - a little bit of the pickup art can go along way, and it is extremely difficult to compensate for it in the eyes of women. being world class at some skill might help - but even so... efficiency would indicate that learning some pickup is highly valuable. it's way more important than anything taught in school. in fact... it's what a lot of smart (not gradewise) people do actually learn in school (rather than the actual subjects).
i figure the priority list is basically 1) stay alive and healthy 2) the girl thing. this is based on emotion - but of course it lines up with evolutionary principles - survive and reproduce - it's what we have in common with bacteria and everything else.
i think that to truly fulfil (1), much higher technology will be needed. to put in bluntly, the human body is intrinsically designed in such a way that it will fall apart - it is likely the whole thing will just be replaced in the future with something more stable. when that is done, (1) will be achieved.
can i contribute to 1, well i can make a little contribution - but i notice that good ideas are nearly always replicated - therefore i don't need to worry about it too much. people are going to do what needs to be done. (often money is the real rate limiting factor.)
in some sense 1 is taken care of. for myself, i just need to make any contribution, and get somebody to pay me (so i can buy food), or extract money in any way from any source (so i can buy food).
but 2? nobody will do that for you (you as in me). it is a skill. and it's not like riding a bike - that didn't take long to learn - it's more like learning to play jazz. the art of pickup. it's an improvisational art, and like any other, it's pretty involved. i think i finally respect it. and it's ultimately not just the girl thing - it the people thing.
the fact is, this pickup game is what women care about greatly. it's really the whole social interaction thing. it's chimpanzee's. you can do really cool stuff... and well she might care... like if one achieves world fame *maybe*. even in that case, often it's the fame that she likes - it's not even the thing. it's the social verification. a little bit of social verification goes a long way. the actual skills and acomplishments... well many women don't really care. specifically i mean classic engineers are notoriously without girlfriends until somebody finally pegs them as a meal ticket. not so for salesmen, even the mediocre one will have a girl friend.
what about rock stars. with all the girls. theoretically, there is something there. it's a good field. one where there's a high probability that a girl may actually appreciate the thing itself. however, even tu-pac said: they were interested in the fame itself, not so much me - he said he'd go to a club and women would not give a shit about him until somebody actually recognized him as a star - then they were into him.
restating - a little bit of the pickup art can go along way, and it is extremely difficult to compensate for it in the eyes of women. being world class at some skill might help - but even so... efficiency would indicate that learning some pickup is highly valuable. it's way more important than anything taught in school. in fact... it's what a lot of smart (not gradewise) people do actually learn in school (rather than the actual subjects).
Thursday, March 24, 2011
humans
i'm studying human social behavior. interesting, also bizarre. they've pretty much transferred what chimpanzees do into night clubs. there are tribes with dominant males that essentially protect territory. although everything is abstracted. power is not necessarily physical, thought it can be. the territory is not necessarily a plot of land - it's more like the vip room in a club. and the instincts implanted into females (natures attempt to insure that they procure the best genetic material) are the instincts that women use for mate selection - even though none are planning to reproduce. it's a very abstract game. almost like how chess is a battle, with knights and kings, but it's all played on a little board - and nobody really gets killed.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
life
life is b.s. these aren't the over-dramatized snivels of a semi-depressed mofo. no. it really is a ruse. it's a game on top of a game on top of a game. continuous existence of the individual is almost an illusion - though it is sort of real. a game to squirt more dopamine into our own brains - or in general to activate circuitry of happiness. and like the ant that pushes a twig, waits for another to push the twig an opposite direction, and then pushes the twig again, accomplishing nothing, (we just keep having sex with condoms)*. in the ant's mind it's making since. nothing is happening, but the ant doesn't have the perspective to see it - the ant just feels like it's doing the right thing. i write this, because i think i'm going to strive to just push the hell out of twigs. left and right. i want my brain to feel the happiness of thinking it is doing something useful. i'm tired of being one any, looking out at a lawn mower and feeling that the whole hive is about to be blow away. i'm tired of being an ant thinking about how short it's own life is, how fragile. the most happiness must be in letting go of reality. and i wonder why evolution even gave me the ability to perceive reality or any global consequence - but i sort of know the answer - it's handy for engineering (and such) - however it's annoying in many ways.
*merely a metaphor
*merely a metaphor
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Have We Grown Too Fond Of Technology?
I'm listening to some lady talk to Ira Flato about "Have We Grown Too Fond Of Technology?"
I just have to vent my annoyedness here. First of all I'm just tired of listening to so many shows about communication technology, it's just a worn out topic. Secondly, she's trying to make an argument to regulate people as if sending too many text messages (instead of talking?) is dangerous. Dude, it does not matter. Verbal communication is a relatively new invention, it also does not matter - I mean it's not dangerous. It did change us, but it's not something we need to run away from. Human are pretty nuts as far as I can tell, and they were nuts before they used cell phones, and they will continue to be nuts after. They are basically slime mold on the planet, and they are wiring up a pretty decent nervous system with their internet and cell phone technology - taking it to the next level of super organism - again where the individuals have little or no concept of the whole.
I just have to vent my annoyedness here. First of all I'm just tired of listening to so many shows about communication technology, it's just a worn out topic. Secondly, she's trying to make an argument to regulate people as if sending too many text messages (instead of talking?) is dangerous. Dude, it does not matter. Verbal communication is a relatively new invention, it also does not matter - I mean it's not dangerous. It did change us, but it's not something we need to run away from. Human are pretty nuts as far as I can tell, and they were nuts before they used cell phones, and they will continue to be nuts after. They are basically slime mold on the planet, and they are wiring up a pretty decent nervous system with their internet and cell phone technology - taking it to the next level of super organism - again where the individuals have little or no concept of the whole.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)