Sunday, May 26, 2013

How to meet girls on the dance floor (specifically latin dance)

Still learning this myself, but there are some key points I'm seeing more clearly.

Having fun
A critical point is to make sure the girl doesn't get bored while dancing. What makes her bored will depend on her personality, but moving around more and being interactive tend to be more engaging. There are different modes, some where you move around more, some where you are more intimate and not moving very much. At the clubs where people are really going there for dating options, songs run for a long time, and you have plenty of time to progress from playful to more intimate and it's best to use the time (and you can use multiple songs).

Verbal Communication
As far as talking goes, I've seen some guys who don't say anything verbally the whole time dancing and girls seems happy and engaged. I think the best strategy is to say a little bit, make a few observations, but not a whole lot of conversation is needed while dancing. You absolutely should have some verbal interaction to make sure she knows you are interested, it just doesn't take that much while dancing. You can ask her how's she doing, how she likes the club so far, or what her name is. It doesn't matter what the answer to any of the questions are, and you probably won't be able to hear them exactly. The point is to just ask them in an upbeat way and convey positive energy. With a few words, she's feel more connected. You can only hear her if you're pretty close, so this gives you an excuse to stand close to her. Typical advise is to avoid pecking, which is leaning in just to get a work and leaning back out, which indicates you're afraid to stand close. The way to hear her is just by standing solidly close enough to hear. You'll be moving away and giving her more space at time naturally while dancing.

Progression
It's best to keep the interaction light, and slowly (over the course of an hour or hours), move to more intimate. Find a girl that you want and you give her more attention than others. You still don't overwhelm her with attention. You can take breaks and dance with others. But you come back to her. You can totally read how intimate or not a girl wants to be based on how she responds and how close she gets. You can pull her close and if she bounces off, then you give her some space, and let her decide if she wants to come back. If you pull her close and she stays, then you know she's OK with that for some time. However you still want to gage if she's permanently comfortable with being close or just temporarily, so you take feedback to gauge that also. There is a perfect amount of space, but if you don't know it exactly, it's best to give her just a little more space than she wants, so that she desires to be a little closer. If you give a little less space that she wants, she'll probably feel uncomfortable. You can switch up between "dirty" dancing and "not dirty" and this seems to be what the most "fun" guys are doing. Specifically, dancing with a lot of  "not dirty" moves but some teasing with the "dirty" stuff only about 10 percent of the time. Over time (hours), it's probably acceptable to increase the amount of "dirty."

Using Eye Contact
You can tell a lot by eye contact. If she absolutely doesn't make eye contact at all, it's a sign to move on to the next girl. It's good if you get smiles when she glances at you. You don't want to stare too hard. You just want to glance at her on a regular basis to keep engaged. You also want to be looking somewhere near her even if you aren't looking directly at her, because she'll feel ignored if you are staring randomly off into space.


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